Wednesday, September 29, 2010

STATUS FESBUK

Posted by makcik rehan KJB at 12:56 AM
Status yang bagaimana yang membuatkan kamu gigil-gigil tangan nak bagi penampor?
Status yang bagaimana yang membuatkan kamu nyaris nak makan penampor?

Eh, bagi penampor dengan makan penampor lain eh?


  
     Here are the top 15 things you should never do on Facebook or MySpace:

     1. Use Facebook mail instead of proper email
     Are you silly? When you Facebook mail me, I have to log into my real email to find that I then have to go 
     and log into my Facebook account to read and reply to your message. If you've got my real email      
     address, please use it.

     2. Add old friends and then forget about them
     This is the biggest social networking crime of them all. How many times has it happened? You haven't  
     seen someone for 20 years; you vaguely recognise their name but not their face. They add you as a friend 
     on Facebook and then after you accept them, you never hear from them again.

     3. Adding people you don't even know
     It's one thing to add an old friend and then never speak to them. It's another to add anyone whose name 
     you kind of vaguely sort of recognise. It's like that old man in the pub who slaps everyone on the back as 
     if they were old pals, when in actual fact he has no friends, largely because of this habit.

     4. Adding single-serving holiday friends
     Some people just don't understand that the exchanging of email addresses at the end of a holiday is just a 
     social ritual and is absolutely not an invitation to add you to Facebook and then turn up unannounced at 
     your house three months later.

     5. Accepting friend invitations from people you don't know
     It's one thing to complain about irritating people adding you on Facebook, but if you accept those invites, 
     you've only got yourself to blame. If you scan through your Facebook friends list, you'll doubtless find a 
     handful of people in there you barely know. It's a horrible realisation - like when you suddenly realise 
     your hand is resting on a knob of someone else's chewing gum underneath a desk.

    6. Update Facebook profile when you're supposedly ill
     How many times have we seen it? Someone calls in sick in the morning and then updates their Facebook 
     profile minute-by-minute throughout the day, documenting a day of ice cream, chips, video games and 
     jumping on the bed. Get dressed and get to work you lazy hoodwink, or else you'll probably be fired. 
     And it'd be your own fault for adding your boss to be your Facebook friend.

    7. Write on a wall instead of communicating privately
     The driving force behind the success of Facebook is... vanity. People love the idea that others are 
     watching what they're doing. Tell me this: for what reason would you invite someone to a private party by 
     writing on their wall, other than to show off to all the people on their friends list who you don't want to 
     come? It just makes you look like a tit, so don't do it.

    8. Moan in your Facebook status
     The most annoying thing that people do on Facebook is to spray their walls with vanity-filled drivel, by 
     posting self-indulgent awfulness in their status updates. "Kerry is sorry how it ended but it had to be done. 
     I love you and will miss you, and I hope you can apologise one day". Oh sod off. If you've got something 
     to say to someone, say it. Don't post it on your wall because no one else is interested, and people just 
     think you're a prat.

     9. Other irritating status updates
     No, "Dave is" is not an acceptable status update, nor is it original or in any way clever. "Dave just is..." is 
     equally as inexcusable. And "Dave is Dave is Dave" is downright taking the piss. Oh, and song lyrics are 
     also a no-no. "Sandra was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows she's miserable now" 
     will impress people about the same amount as Morrissey's saggy, miserable face.

     10. Upload drunken pictures the morning after
     Have a little common sense. If you go out for a big one on a Wednesday night, posting humiliating, 
     drunken photos of your friends on Thursday morning is a recipe for disaster. Because when I call in sick 
     at 9am, the last thing I want my boss to say is: "I've seen the pictures of you crawling in the gutter last 
     night. I'm not amused or impressed, now get to work!"

     11. Joining ridiculous chain-mail groups
     Why do people insist on joining groups such as "On the X of May, everyone has to panic buy carrots"? 
     Come on people, how stupid are you? There's one group on Facebook devoted to nullifying the 
     vegetarian moral crusade, and it's called: "For every animal you don't eat, I'm going to eat three". That's a 
     good group name. "I think Ryan Seacrest is the best presenter ever" is not.

     12. Starting said groups
     Enough said.

   13. Lazy grammar and spelling mistakes
     Reading Facebook is like perusing a six-year olds' English copybook. Come on, people: 'Your' is 'your'.
     'You are' is 'you're'. It really isn't hard to get that little one right. And understanding the difference
     between there, their and they're surely isn't too much of a challenge?

     14. Upload photos to Facebook and deleting originals
     Uploading photos to Facebook can be a very handy way of sharing your holiday snaps. But for the love
     of God, don't lose your originals. Facebook is terrible at compressing and resizing images - it turns your
     14MP panoramas into 14KB monstrosities. Facebook is not a suitable repository to store your precious
     photos!

     15. Inviting me to be a Zombie Pirate Snot Monster
     Please don't do that ever ever again




Contoh real status fesbuk yang giler punya annoying :

Monday, morning.
MAKCIK REHAN said Baju ada sebakul tak lipat

Monday, noon.
MAKCIK REHAN said Baju nak basuh dalam laundry basket dah menggunung

Monday, evening.
MAKCIK REHAN said Cari Coli tak jumpa-jumpa... sohih dalam timbunan kain tak lipat

Monday, late evening.
MAKCIK REHAN said Cari seluar kecik kaler pink tak jumpa. Jumpa yang kaler pepel saja.

Monday, night.
MAKCIK REHAN said Timbunan kain dah jadi Banjaran Himalaya


Tiba-tiba saja friendlist haku kat fesbuk semakin berkurangan!
Ekekekekeke....


Read more : HERE

Sekian, jangan kumen :))




4 comments:

TopsyTurvyMum on September 29, 2010 at 8:35 AM said...

aku rasa takde dlm frenlist aku yg suka buat status annoying camni..kejap2 update status..

aku pun tulis status sebulan tak sekali(tu pun saje nakkan perhatian wakakaka) keji!!

KV on September 29, 2010 at 8:52 AM said...

kah kah kah..sluaq dalam pun nak buh dlm fesbuk ka?

makcikrehan on September 29, 2010 at 9:51 AM said...

TTM, status ko yg terakhir aku baca adalah : Alu lesung aku hilang. Amjaaaahhh! ekekekeke. i loike!

KV, maksud tersirat...ekekekek

nurulhudaresad on September 29, 2010 at 10:44 AM said...

kite selalu update status...kdg2 status yg akak kata complicated dulu tu....hahahhaa....maybe sesuai join twitter kot kalo suke update status....cuma kwn2 x ramai yg join twitter..tu yg susah tu....

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